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Safe sex talks – never in my lifetime did I ever think I’d be  having the ‘It’s not just the getting pregnant you have to worry about these days’, lectures with my mother.
It’s supposed to be the other way around. However considering she’d married when she was basically a child bride and AIDS were something you stuck in your ears to hear better, I felt it was my duty to clue her in.  For 32 years she’d been married to my dad. I knew they weren’t all ‘hearts-and-flowers’ kind of happy, but I didn’t know she was going to up and leave him for an internet toy boy either. She’d never been past Wellington, let alone stepped foot inside a jumbo jet and now here she was planning on hooking up with a virtual stranger in Las Vegas for a raunchy weekend. “How well do you know this man?” I screeched down the phone, wondering how many times I’d heard those exact same words. “And how do you know he’s not an axe-wielding homicidal maniac with freezers full of gullible kiwi women?”  “He’s not like that!," she cried. Hello Mrs Ostrich. I feel like shaking her violently. Has she not read the newspapers about all the sickos with bogus email addresses?
How on earth did I become the parent in the relationship? There are just some things as a child you should not have to deal with. Being a parent to your parents is one of them. Whether it’s due to a death of a parent, divorce, mental illness or old age, it’s inevitable at some stage you might just find yourself living a life where the parenting roles are reversed. There are a few things you can do to help with this transition:  Share the burden
If you have siblings, uncles, aunties or next door neighbours, get them involved. Don’t feel like you’re the one who has to shoulder all the responsibility because you were mum’s favourite.
Stand your ground
Some parents believe they know best. However if Alzheimer’s has your dad insisting he looks perfectly fine for a round of golf even though he’s not wearing his trousers, you need to stick to your guns.
Recall your childhood
All those little sayings you used to get hammered with as a kid, now is the time to use them. You know the ones ‘If you don’t eat your veggies, you’ll get them served cold for breakfast’ and ‘If you’re not home by midnight I’m calling the cops’.
 Access the risk factors
If you’re dealing with elderly parents who harbour pyromaniac desires or go walk-about at night, you need to evaluate the risks of them living alone. If you’re not prepared to have them live with you, organise to get a St John’s Lifelink alarm. Alternatively there are secure retirement villages or old folks home to help alleviate stress and worry. Be Switzerland
Stay on neutral territory. Make it clear from the beginning you will not choose sides.
Time out.
You need to remember you have your own life. Take time out to relax. Leigh-Anne
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